We all have parts

One assumption of Internal Family Systems is that it’s natural to have parts, or sub personalities. It doesn’t mean that you’re “crazy”, or like “Sybil”, it’s just how we are.

Imagine your mind and body were a bus. Which part of you is most often in the driving seat?  Who decides the streets to drive down and the ones to avoid, for instance? when to re-fuel or pull in for a service?

Which parts take notice of the engine warning light? Which ones place a small piece of black electrical tape over it then keep driving?

Are there any parts which are never, ever, ever allowed to drive? Why would that be? Where might they take you? What might they do?

 Do some parts keep their foot on the brake whilst others put the pedal to the metal?

How often is your self in the driving seat? Are you ever able to explore the city, pull over to look at the map, become familiar with all of the controls, or head back to the depot for an oil change? What is it that tells you which part is driving? What do you notice?

All parts are welcome, but perhaps some shouldn’t drive…

By connecting with and getting to know the parts of us which leap into the driving seat, elbowing other parts out of the way, we can begin to understand where they’re so desperate to take us and why, together with why they might not trust us to do the driving.

We can learn what landmarks (or triggers) they want us to avoid, what streets (or memories) they don’t want us to go down, and which areas of town (or feelings/emotions) they are familiar with or scared of.

When our Self is in the driving seat, we can listen to our part’s suggestions rather hearing their demands. We can understand how scary areas of town became so scary in the first place or why certain landmarks and streets are avoided. We can have choice in where our bus goes, who is allowed on and off, and how fast we go. Often, we can reassure our parts that town isn’t what is used to be, as they learn to trust us to be in the driving seat of our life, and see a new map of town.

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